You may have watched an awards show at some point in your life and wondered, “What kind of self important asshole actually votes in The Academy? The Golden Globes? The Palm D’or?”

Well welcome to your favorite independent awards show where you know EXACTLY the answer to who’s giving out the trophies!

It’s me! Just a guy with too many hard opinions on movies and who is much too forward with sharing those opinions. Do I have a top ten A24 list? Yes. Do I firmly believe that Adam Drivers work in The Last Jedi is criminally underated? Absolutely. Am I entirely too comfortable with the idea of sharing those opinions? You can bet your sweet ass I am.

So welcome to The Joeys, a place where I will be posting my own opinions on the recent films I’ve watched, how I expect folks will do in the upcoming Joey Awards at the end of the year. I hope you enjoy yourselves and don’t pull your hair out too much when I inevitably give Rebecca Ferguson the gold for Best Supporting Actress for her work in Dune: Part 2.