April 10th, 2025

When taking a look at remaking a film there are a multitude of questions that film makers have to ask themselves. How do we modernize this? Is there any kind of spin we should put on it? Should we cut this or that out of the movie? For much of the program, the Disney “live action” movies have not asked these questions. The point of the exercise of Beauty and the Beast (2017), The Little Mermaid (2023), and The Lion King (2019) is simply “do it again but live action this time.” And that worked for at least commercial purposes. It was easy! Shot for shot because if you stray too far from the source material the roars of the fans would be deafening.

Then comes the concept of redoing Snow White and the Seven Dwarves in the year of our lord 2025. Right out the gate there’s issues: Snow White is called such due to her porcelain white skin, the 83 minute plot of Snow White is so thin that the lead protagonist lacks any kind of agency, and she is kissed while unconscious by a man she had spent approximately 30 seconds with at the very beginning of the movie. All of these things worked just fine in a movie made in 1937. It’s a fairy tale, so even the more objectional parts of the film are largely just vibes. It’s easy to dig into and tear apart but it’s also as previously mentioned an 83 minute cartoon. They sing, they dance, they kiss, credits! 5/5, no notes.

So while there were questions they did actually have to ask when remaking Snow White for modern audiences, and they realistically landed on the only answers available to make this movie, they failed to ask themselves the most obvious question of all. Should we make this movie? The answer is a resounding no. Snow White just doesn’t work in the context of both trying to make a shot for shot remake of the original AND putting enough spin on the ball to modernize it for current audiences. I don’t begrudge too many of the choices even, most of them were the only way to make this movie even try to work. It still doesn’t and it shouldn’t exist, but I don’t have an answer of how to fix it.

Rachel Zegler was the best decision made, she is a supreme talent both in terms of acting and her vocal skills. The opening number ‘Waiting on a Wish’ was a perfect way to open the film and I was at least a little locked in for the first 2 minutes or so. But then the extended plot starts kicking in, the CGI dwarves are probably the worst looking thing I’ve seen on screen this year and I just saw A Minecraft Movie, and Gal Gadot’s performance is the worst war crime that she has ever committed (and she used to be in the Israeli army so that’s really saying something). Try as she might even Rachel Zegler can’t withstand this many issues in a movie.

The film’s not even that long and yet every second of it’s 109 minute runtime is felt in the most tedious way. The original is probably in my top five for Disney films, mostly because of its simple structure and fairy tale plotting. It is beautiful for its simplicity, which is why trying to remake it into a $200 million dollar blockbuster doesn’t work. We don’t watch movies the same way we did in 1937, and that’s ok. Those movies don’t necessarily need to be remade, certainly not in the shot for shot fashion the mouse house has grown accustomed to, as they already exist. Hopefully if nothing else that’s something Disney can take away from this experience.

1/5