Die Hard is one of those movies that directors, studios, and audiences all want to see a version of again. It’s certainly tougher in the current zeitgeist to keep the “one man armed with a gun” story arch from feeling stale, let alone unproblematic; as most of the real world counterparts of “one man armed with a gun” are not, and have not been heroic in the time since we first met John McClane in Nakatomi Plaza. Director Adam Wingard uses some tricks in an attempt to keep his version of a modern day Die Hard alive, and they sound solid enough on paper, even if they wind up falling flat in practice.

Onslaught follows former Army sniper Celeste Cross (Adria Arjona), divorced, occupied by being the live in super intendent at a rundown trailer park, divorced and on the brink of losing her daughter with the prospect that her ex-husband is moving across the country. It’s familiar to the kind of set-up we saw in Die Hard, and even has Die Hard alum Reginald Vel Johnson stunt casted as Josiah, Celeste’s charmingly cantankerous neighbor. Nearby of course, the evil German scientist Hans Kammler (Dan Stevens) is testing his three evil and twisted super soldiers, designed to never yield in combat, and to kill everything and everyone they come across. When these weapons of mass destruction free themselves and begin waging war on the adjacent population, that’s when the movie really kicks off.

While the nods and winks to Die Hard are plentiful, Celeste feels akin to John McClane in more ways than one. There’s even an evil German akin to Hans Gruber! But it all feels like too much and too little all at once. The blood crazed super soldiers are a less interesting foil than even the dullest of the robber/terrorist in any action movie. Their lack of humanity makes them not so much characters, as weapons. There’s perhaps something to dissect about the sins of the US Government over the years, centering on things like Project Paperclip. Or even the ravaging effects of PTSD on every day combatants. But all of these subjects have been tackled by more capable projects, that either did them in more exciting fashion or at the very least treated them with more dignity.

The balance of the maximalist nature of Onslaught doesn’t mesh with the over the plate storytelling. While it’s certainly blood soaked, it’s never gripping, using its action sequences to be more shocking than exciting. The movie can’t seem to decide if it wants to be grounded or insane, a problem that persists from the jump when the movie opens with Dan Stevens licking Rebecca Hall’s feet, and then cuts to Adria Arjona having a domestic argument about taking care of her kid while her ex-husband is whisked away on a surprise business trip. Some of this could be forgiven if the action was “packed” but much of the gun sequences entail characters running from one trailer to the next, putting little focus on the chaos happening on the other side of the door.

The most interesting thing about Onslaught is the cast, particularly the supporting players (though Arjona is doing solid work with the limited amount she is given). People like Dan Stevens, Reginald VelJohnson, Rebecca Hall, and even Eric Wareheim give the otherwise bland film a little bit of sauce. Otherwise though Onslaught struggles with tone, pacing, and structure throughout, and even hearkening back to something like Die Hard with those struggles winds up being an albatross around its already bloated neck.

2/5